


Failures and Mistakes

by Karenkk



Series: Kintsugi [4]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, F/M, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 16:27:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18056009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karenkk/pseuds/Karenkk
Summary: People said the higher you climb the harder you fall. And when that day came, Javier could barely recognize himself in the mirror.A yuzuvier story being told by both sides. Please read it as part of the Kintsugi series.Javier's POVRPS disclaimer applies.





	Failures and Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> I played with the timeline a bit in order for the story to work.

When Javier first learned to skate, all he wanted to do was to glide on ice as effortlessly as his older sister Laura. Then he wanted to land his first single jump. After landing his first triple - the Salchow at age of 12, he aimed for the triple Axel, which he achieved at 16. Then he became the first Spanish man in half a century to compete in the Olympics for the discipline. The 14th placement was a source of pride after many years of being teased for wasting time in a sport he had no talent for. Then he went on to be the first Spanish skater to win a Grand Prix medal, and then the first one to qualify for the Final. 

His second Olympic at Sochi was a far cry from his previous 14th placement, but the 1.18 point gap to the bronze medallist was a bitter disappointment. But he ultimately let it be his drive to continue his competitive career. Then he went on to win his two World Championship titles.

But he was still Javier Fernández, the nobody Spanish Skater. Sure, his dad no longer had to work two jobs in order to support his career, but funding from the Spanish Federation was not exactly generous, and the endorsement deals were few and far between. He was invited to a lot of ices shows, but most of them were in Japan. His home country had no love for a winter sport. He was interviewed a lot by both English and Japanese media outlets, but half of the questions were still about Yuzuru Hanyu, his genius rink mate. He met with the Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy, King Felipe, and Queen Letizia. He was interviewed by all major sports programs in Spain and asked to do the kick-off at Bernabéu Football Stadium. But still, he was only occasionally recognized on the street, and often than not people asked him for his ID to admit him into various events. He had firsthand experience of what true stardom was like, seeing his rink mate having his own entourage that included at least one bodyguard. In Japan, Yuzuru could barely walk on the streets without disguise and protection details. Outside of his home country which was crazy about all things figure skating related, there was always a trail of dedicated fans who would follow him to any corner of the world just to support him. It was no joke when commentators said "Everywhere he goes it's a hometown crowd". A King amongst the commoners like him.

At times, he wanted nothing more than to remind people he was, in fact, the two time and reigning World Champion, and surely this had to mean something. 

Going into the World Championship in Helsinki, he knew he would have a tough fight on hand. The youngsters were nipping at his heels, and Yuzuru's eyes burn with an intense hunger that he had only seen during the Olympic season. 

But the Japanese faltered during his short program, placing only 5th after invalidating one of his combination jumps; while Javier scored his personal best at 109.05 - the third highest score in history. He had over 10 points lead going into the free, only to throw it all away by falling on his Quad Sal and doubled a planned Triple Flip; while the younger man set a new world record of 223.20. His rink mate reclaimed his crown in a most majestic fashion, while he fell hard from the World Championship podium for the first time since 2012.

It was almost like his two years of reign was nothing more than the figment of a dream. And when the time was up he was to return to reality. 

He was bombarded by the microphones and flashlights after the competition. It was a train wreck that everyone came to gawk at. Everyone wanted to know the whats, hows, and whys. Truth to be told, it was all in his head. How could he not though? Like every other competitor, he was enthralled by the otherworldly performance of the newly crowned world champion, reaching to a height that no one had hoped to ever catch up. Only he had more to lose than the others, and he lost so spectacularly. Even Yuzuru's hug at front of the press felt a lot more like rubbing salt in the wound than comfort. He forced himself to accept it graciously nonetheless. Because he wanted to a good person and be happy for his friend's achievement. Because at that point he had nothing left other than shriveled pride.

He hid from everyone once they all had a chance to gape and point their fingers at him. And most people kept away, but not Yuzuru. Forever had to be the better person, the younger man came and knocked on his door. It was sort of their tradition to offer the other physical comfort after a disastrous major competition ever since Sochi, and yet it went well beyond that, that night. 

Javier's memory of the night was hazy with so much shame and anger. He remembered having the younger man corned between two walls and his own body so he had no way to escape. He forcefully pushed him down to his knees, grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled them down hard enough to ensure his head was at the right angle for him to jam his cock down his throat. The younger man struggled helplessly against him. He retched and coughed, but only fuelled the older man's growing lust. He was merciless, while and Yuzuru jerked powerlessly with each stroke. When he finally came, he held the Japanese in place long enough to make sure the younger man had no choice but to swallow every drop of his cum.

It was only after the murderous lust had left him he saw the state his friend was in - red-rimmed eyes half hidden behind bangs soaked by sweat, cheeks stained by tears and saliva, beautiful lips swollen with abuse. His usual porcelain skin was blotchy red as he struggled to catch his breath. The brutal reality finally hit the Spaniard - with Yuzuru's asthma he could very well trigger an attack or even killed him. 

He threw up into the toilet bowl numerous times that night. He heaved even though there was absolutely nothing left in him. The younger man had brought out the worst in him, and he couldn't stand the person he had become. He used to be the one who would have overjoyed for just qualifying for the World Championship, taking all his friends out to celebrate even though he came in dead last. Since when he wasn't that guy anymore? The kindness he used to possess in spades now replaced by the darkness that ate through his soul.

He couldn't stand himself, but he could stand Yuzuru even less. He didn't understand why the younger man wanted to be anywhere near him anymore. That beautiful face never showed fear, only concerns for his self imposed isolation. A hand was so casually laid on his thigh, as a mean to offer comfort, yet the Spaniard flinched away as if being burnt. 

"I think... whatever this is we are doing has to stop. It is distracting and unproductive. Surely you of all people would understand." He said, no longer trusting himself to be in close proximity of the younger man. 

The Japanese certainly did. His dark eyes widened in shock before an emotionless mask being slid on. And Javier was too tired to care.

He was too worn out, too battered to keep on competing, too old to fend off the youngsters and keep up with the quad battles. But skating was literally all he had ever known. He pursued his passion blindly from a young age, only to realize now he had no skills or experience outside of the sport. It was a sobering experience. He debated whether he should go on, but what other career choices did he have outside of the sport?

He was thankful that he was still being invited to ice shows both in Japan and Canada. It gave him the means and time to consider his options at least. What he didn't expect was seeing Miki Ando again during some of the stops. 

It started off as an offseason fling. They were both there and free from their day to day responsibilities. Javier wasn't training for his upcoming season yet and Miki didn't need to take care of her daughter who stayed with her parents during the tour. There was always something between them when they both trained under Morozov. A spark that never fully ignited because Miki was dating their coach at the time. Clearly, it was still there after all these years.

She was so different from all his ex-girlfriends. Being a very successful athlete herself, she understood him, the competitive pressure, the exhilarating feeling of success and the crushing sense of disappointment after failure. And not to mention how quickly the media and the fans could hype you and then desert you. The harsh reality of higher-you-climb-the-harder-you-fall could only be understood by someone who went through it all. 

And Miki was so very beautiful. A caring soul with a sharp mind. She was passionate, straight forward, and never bothered to hide her thoughts. It was just refreshingly simple. There was no crushing pressure to be better, being a rival worthy of the other's attention. He just needed to be himself. 

Truth be told, he was relieved to be out of the arrangement he had with Yuzuru. They were already so many things to each other - friends, rink mates, and rivals, and they should have never made it even more complicated. Besides, it wasn't like Yuzuru would be lack of companionship should he desired. Two weeks into the tour, he spotted another man kissing the Japanese in front of his hotel room. The other man's hands on him were possessive yet familiar. Yuzuru stood there in a bathrobe, with his eyes closed, quiet and compliant. It was suddenly very difficult to breathe.


End file.
